Professional Rambler

The music was loud enough to blur thoughts, yet somehow not loud enough to silence them.

It was New Year’s Eve.

Aditi stood near the window, a glass in her hand, looking outside. Reflections moved across the room. A cold wind suddenly brushed her face, and she felt something.

A familiar feeling. A nostalgic one.

She closed her eyes, and a sudden flashback appeared before her. She could feel him in her bones. It felt like a memory that hadn’t decided whether it wanted to be remembered.

She inhaled slowly, as if the air had thickened. Her chest tightened not with pain, not with joy, but with recognition.

It reminded her of moments when she had felt understood without trying. When pauses felt safe instead of awkward.

Aditi put her hand on her chest, trying to calm her racing heart. She closed her eyes, letting the feeling pass through her instead of resisting it. When she opened them, the feeling softened but didn’t disappear.

Someone touched her arm and said her name twice before she responded.

She hoped it was him. The prayer played too loudly in her mind – a quiet wish to see him again.

She turned, but this time a familiar face did not make her happy.

“You okay?” her friend asked.

“Yeah,” she said. “Just… give me a second.”

She gathered herself and looked up at the sky. He wasn’t around her. He would never come back. Some people leave the world too soon.

She returned inside and rejoined the noise, the laughter, the counting down of time.

Three. Two. One….

“Happy New Year!”

Aditi laughed, a little forced.

He might not be here with her anymore, but the feeling she carried would always remain.

Because some feelings stay, even when the person is no longer here.

That is Saudade.